<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Brothers in Arms by Aggie2011</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29467455">Brothers in Arms</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aggie2011/pseuds/Aggie2011'>Aggie2011</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Brothers in Arms - Modern AU [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Musketeers (2014)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bromance, F/M, Gen, PTSD Aramis, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, the bromance will be so strong, they're special forces</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 21:00:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>18,668</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29467455</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aggie2011/pseuds/Aggie2011</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A compilation of modern AU stories, some short, some long based on the AU I built in my Whumptober prompts in 2017. Aramis centered with a heavy dose of Porthos, Athos, and bromance. *Modern AU**Brothers in Arms AU*</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ana de Austria | Anne d'Autriche/Aramis | René d'Herblay, d'Artagnan/Constance Bonacieux</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Brothers in Arms - Modern AU [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2164446</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>61</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Boy Meets Girl</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Hey guys! It's been a hot minute since I posted anything. Busy has been my middle name! But here I am! This is going to be a home to all the Modern AU storylines that come to my mind, big and small. These will mostly be oneshots, some might be multi-shots, we'll see where my muse takes me! Be warned. This isn't beta'd because my beta has her own life and is not subjected to my whims haha. I realized as I posted the next piece of this on another site that I never posted it here at all. So here we go! Here's chapter 1 and soon to come I'll add Chapter 2 so you'll be all caught up. </em>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <em>For some people, "the point of no return" begins at the very moment their souls become aware of each others' existence.<br/>
</em>
  <em>
    <strong>C. Joybell C.</strong>
  </em>
</p><hr/>
<p>Esmé's head shifted on Aramis' chest, her dark eyes angling to watch the same shifting of colors he was observing as the sky faded from the inky blackness of night to the pinks, oranges, and reds of dawn. He hooked his arm behind his head to give himself a better view across the lake as the sun rose and let out a slow breath.</p>
<p>They'd been out here for hours already. The nightmare this time had been severe, and upon waking had spiraled into an all-too-vivid flashback. Only Esmé's calming presence had prevented a full blown panic attack. She'd guided him back, just as gently and faithfully as she always did. But returning to sleep was out of the question.</p>
<p>So they'd gone for a pre-dawn run through the park near his and Porthos' flat. He'd lapped the entire running circuit twice before he'd felt like his head was clear again. They made their way to the small lake ensconced within the wooded park after that. Panting from the exertion, Aramis had dropped down on the dew-dampened grass and sprawled onto his back. Esmé had curled up next to him with her head on his chest while he stared up at the night sky and waited for dawn.</p>
<p>He would have to head back soon. Porthos would worry despite the note he'd left on the whiteboard they kept attached to their front door. Porthos couldn't help but worry. It had been his default setting since they were children. Though, to be fair, Aramis gave him plenty to worry about.</p>
<p>"What do you think?" he asked Esmé. "Should we pick up coffee and pastry as a peace offering?"</p>
<p>Her ears twitched at the mention of pastries and when Aramis shifted to stand, she leapt up cheerfully.</p>
<p>"Race you to the place on the corner near the flat?" he offered her with an arched brow.</p>
<p>Esmé barked once in response and then took off in a near sprint.</p>
<p>"CHEATING!" Aramis accused before tearing off after her.</p>
<p>He lost sight of her over a hill. He dug his toes into the grass, pumping his arms as he crested the hill himself, only to nearly tripped over her stone still form. A quick side step had him stumbling and nearly slipping on the dewy grass. A few wild windmills with his arms and he managed to find his balance and slow his momentum.</p>
<p>He went to one knee next to Esmé, curling an arm over her back and framing her face with his other hand.</p>
<p>"What's wrong?" he asked immediately, eyes scanning her body for any injuries.</p>
<p>She trembled, ears pricked forward, holding herself completely still. Her attention wasn't on him, it was on something ahead of them.</p>
<p>Aramis turned to face the same direction.</p>
<p>He'd been trained to take in large amounts of visual information in just a glance. He could process a chaotic scene, pick out the relevant details, and react before most people even managed to start taking in information at all.</p>
<p>It was this skill that brought his eyes unerringly to <em>her</em> in the space of a breath.</p>
<p>A woman, petite, blonde, hair in a high messy bun with a running tank and short shorts that showed off just enough skin that Aramis was sure every man in the immediate area noticed her. Every man except the group on bicycles speeding down the running path, that is.</p>
<p>Aramis had seen the occasional cyclist on the running path, to his eternal annoyance. He had even been clipped by someone once. Porthos had nearly gone on the warpath to find the man who had left Aramis sprawled on the ground with a lacerated forearm, but Athos had been able to talk him down.</p>
<p>Aramis had never seen a group this size. They weren't supposed to be on the running path at all. But given the early hour, Aramis suspected they thought no one would mind.</p>
<p>They also apparently expected the woman to move, because not one of them slowed down.</p>
<p>Aramis was running before he'd even realized she was truly in danger.</p>
<p>"Look out!" he shouted as he ran down the hill, sliding part way when his shoes slipped on the grass. When he hit level ground, he kicked into a sprint.</p>
<p>She didn't see the cyclists. The earbuds in her ears prevented her from hearing them or his shout of warning. She was stretching, mouthing the words to whatever song she was listening to.</p>
<p>Aramis was fast. Over short distances, only d'Artagnan had ever out sprinted him.</p>
<p>He closed the distance between them in what had to be Olympic worthy time, Esmé right at his heels. His feet hit the path when the cyclists were only feet away. He wrapped his arms around her and propelled them both off into the grass, twisting his body to ensure he hit the ground first.</p>
<p>She screamed in surprise, clutching to him instinctively as they fell. Her phone went flying, pulling her headphones with it.</p>
<p>His shoulder took the brunt of the fall, thankfully not his bad one, though it would likely yield a nasty bruise all the same. He hardly noticed as adrenaline pounded through his system. For a moment they just laid there, him on his back and her sprawled across his chest.</p>
<p>Her head snapped back from where she'd turned it to watch the cyclist speed by and suddenly wide, startled bright blue eyes met his own.</p>
<p>"I've got you," he assured instinctively.</p>
<p>She blinked, eyes still wide, breath coming in harsh gasps. He could feel her heart pounding against his chest just as frantically as his was.</p>
<p>"So you have," she breathed in response.</p>
<p>Aramis knew he should be moving, should be detangling their limbs, helping her up. But he didn't. He couldn't force himself to look away from her eyes. He'd looked into the eyes of many women in his life – too many according to some. And while there had been the occasional spark of connection, it had never been like this. He couldn't look away, no matter how much he knew he should.</p>
<p>She didn't seem to have any more power in the situation either. She didn't struggle to move, didn't try to push away. Just stayed where she was, hands twisted in the front of his shirt. Chunks of her fine blonde hair brushing his face where they'd come loose from her bun.</p>
<p>For a moment, they only breathed.</p>
<p>Esmé's nose suddenly pressed against his temple, the accompanying whine of worry breaking the spell. Aramis drew in a breath, shifting, and the woman did the same. Together, they climbed to their feet, but he found himself still holding gently to her elbows and her fingers still clutched at his shirt.</p>
<p>Aramis still could not force himself to look away.</p>
<p>"It seems you are my savior," the woman commented. She drew in a deep breath, steadied herself, and then smiled warmly. She seemed to force herself to loosen her hold on his shirt. Aramis released her elbows, but was pleasantly intrigued when she didn't step back from his personal space.</p>
<p>"Esmé deserves the credit," he replied, tilting his head towards the dog where she stood calmly at his side. "She let me know something was wrong."</p>
<p>"I think I can spare some credit for you," she teased before looking down at Esmé.</p>
<p>She smiled broadly and started to reach out, before pausing and looking back at Aramis.</p>
<p>"May I?" she asked.</p>
<p>Aramis shrugged, dropping down to one knee next to Esmé. The woman immediately knelt as well.</p>
<p>"That's up to her." He wrapped an arm around Esmé back, stroking her side and giving the woman teasing smirk. "What do you think, Esmé, is she worthy?"</p>
<p>Esmé's response was to shuffle forward, dipping her head down and pressing her nose into the woman's hand. The beautiful stranger laughed – a beautiful, melodic sound – and immediately started stroking her hand through Esmé's fur.</p>
<p>"She's beautiful," the woman commented. "Esmé is fitting name for such a beautiful girl."</p>
<p>Esmé's tail thumped against the ground at the sound of her name.</p>
<p>Aramis nodded, smiling down at his dog warmly. Esmé had been his companion for over 4 years now. Her presence in his life had been a salvation when things nearly a year after Savoy had still seemed so bleak.</p>
<p>"Well thank you to both of you," the woman offered with a warm smile.</p>
<p>Aramis smiled too.</p>
<p>"I hardly need thanks for taking a woman as beautiful as you in my arms, but Esmé is deeply appreciative," Aramis replied, unable to help the flirty quirk of his lips.</p>
<p>The woman blushed adorably and breathed a chuckle.</p>
<p>"Perhaps you'll allow me to thank you with coffee then," she suggested.</p>
<p>"I do enjoy coffee," he agreed.</p>
<p>She nodded decisively, smiling and extending a hand.</p>
<p>"I'm Anne."</p>
<p>Aramis took her small, smooth hand in his own larger, calloused one.</p>
<p>"Aramis."</p><hr/>
<p>Anne looked across the café table, resisting the urge to pinch herself to prove this wasn't some dream.</p>
<p>Aramis was settling in his chair, having a whispered conversation with Esmé. The dog's tail wagged enthusiastically at the sight of the pastry Aramis had picked.</p>
<p>"One bite, that's it. The rest is mine. <em>No</em>, don't give me that look. One bite." There was a pause. "Fine <em>two</em>. But that's it!"</p>
<p>Anne hid a grin behind her coffee cup and watched him break off two pieces of his pastry to feed to the dog.</p>
<p>"How long have you had her?" Anne asked when Aramis' attention shifted back to her.</p>
<p>Aramis' hand dropped to absently stroke Esmé's head as he settled more comfortably in his chair. Having already finished her bites of pastry, Esmé rested her head on his lap, staring forlornly at the rest of it on the table.</p>
<p>"Four years back in March," he replied immediately.</p>
<p>Anne watched Esmé inch her nose closer to the table, eyes glued to Aramis' pastry.</p>
<p>"She seems to have quite the unique personality," Anne observed with a grin.</p>
<p>Aramis laughed, a loud, boisterous sound that immediately prompted her own grin to widen in response.</p>
<p>"'Unique' is a good way of putting it," he agreed, absently shifting the pastry farther away from Esmé's nose without looking at her. "She's a good girl," he continued warmly. Then in a whisper she thought might have been only for Esmé, "<em>Mi niña bella." (My beautiful girl.)</em></p>
<p>Anne felt her eyebrows rise at the familiar lilt of Spanish rolling off his tongue.</p>
<p>"<em>¿Has pasado tiempo en España?" (You've spent time in Spain?) </em>she asked curiously.</p>
<p>Aramis' gaze snapped up to hers in surprise.</p>
<p>"You speak the language as if you were born to it," Anne explained warmly.</p>
<p>Something light and tender filled his gaze.</p>
<p>"I've never been, actually," he admitted. "My mother was from Spain, though, and she brought me up with the language on her tongue."</p>
<p>"Was?" Anne wondered, careful to keep her voice warm and kind.</p>
<p>Aramis didn't seem to mind the question, but she noticed his hand strayed back to stroke through Esmé's fur again.</p>
<p>"She died when I was young," he revealed quietly. "When I speak her language, I feel as if in some way she's still with me."</p>
<p>Anne smiled sadly, heart heavy with empathy.</p>
<p>"And you?" he asked, glancing down at Esmé when she shifted her head, her attention finally moving from the pastry to focus fully on him. He shook his head slightly at her and gave her an enthusiastic ear scratch. When he looked back at Anne, there was a smile on his face again. "You didn't learn Spanish in a classroom," he deduced with a quirk of his brow.</p>
<p>"No," she agreed. "I was born there. Although, in reality, I've spent very little time <em>in </em>Spain since then, but my nanny was Spanish. So, I was also brought up with the language."</p>
<p>Aramis smiled again, his gaze fixed on hers. The way he was looking at her, as if she were the most important thing in all the world at the moment, it was overwhelming and at the same time invigorating. She couldn't remember the last time anyone had looked at her in such a way, if anyone ever had. Louis certainly had never given her a look of such rapt attention. For all of the time they'd been together, Louis could hardly be bothered to focus on anything but himself for any length of time.</p>
<p>"Are you close with your parents?" Aramis asked curiously.</p>
<p>"Not really," she admitted sadly and then hesitated as she debated how to explain the complicated thing that was her relationship with her parents. "I've failed to meet the expectations they had for my life. And it has left things strained."</p>
<p>"I'm sorry to hear that," Aramis offered and he sounded as if he truly was. "Family's important."</p>
<p>There was <em>something</em> in the way he said it, something reverent and just a little pained.</p>
<p>"What about you?" she asked. "Are you close with your father?"</p>
<p>There was a flash of coldness in his eyes, though his face remained neutral. His eyes spoke in a way his expression did not, she realized. He apparently knew it too because he grinned and cut his gaze away, looking down at his pastry.</p>
<p>"I never knew him," he admitted, tearing off a piece of the pastry. Instead of eating it, though, he held it out to the dog. Next to him, Esmé shifted slightly, ignoring the offering in favor of nuzzling closer to his hip.</p>
<p>He had said it casually, as if it were nothing of great consequence to not know one's father. But there was a fresh line of tension in his posture that Anne inexplicably longed to ease.</p>
<p>"Families are important but <em>complicated</em>," she commented knowingly.</p>
<p>His gaze returned to hers and he smiled.</p>
<p>"That's why I've found chosen family is the best sort…less complication," he replied.</p>
<p>"Chosen family?" Anne asked, intrigued. She leaned forward and cradled her coffee cup between her hands.</p>
<p>A warm, bright grin lit his face and the last of the tension melted away.</p>
<p>"The kind where blood doesn't matter."</p>
<p>"And you have a 'chosen family'?" Anne deduced.</p>
<p>He nodded.</p>
<p>"Brothers," he replied. "Two of them. Though if I'm being honest I suppose we've recently adopted another."</p>
<p>"Three brothers," she repeated, smiling. "Sounds chaotic."</p>
<p>He laughed.</p>
<p>"If only you knew how right you are. Chaos is definitely the rule of our lives."</p>
<p>She waited to see if he would go on, but he didn't.</p>
<p>"Well, that's not fair, now you've got me intrigued!" she accused.</p>
<p>"I can't very well reveal all of my mystery at once, can I?" he replied with a teasing grin. "How else would I get you to agree to come out with me again?"</p>
<p>Anne blinked, caught off guard by the bluntness of the invitation. But then she felt herself smiling. It was nice to feel pursued. Her relationship with Louis had never been about that. It had always been about expectation, her parent's, Louis', but never, strangely, about <em>hers.</em></p>
<p>"I suppose that's fair," she allowed. "I will do what I must." She sighed as it was a great inconvenience to her, but she knew the smile on her face gave away the joke.</p>
<p>"I appreciate your sacrifice," he replied, putting a hand on his chest in mock gratitude.</p>
<p>If it was possible, her smile widened even further.</p><hr/>
<p>"This is me," Anne said, strolling to a stop at the stairs of an apartment building. "Thank you for walking me home."</p>
<p>"It was our pleasure, wasn't it, Esmé?" Aramis replied with a smile, fingers scratching gently at the top of Esmé's head. The dog's tail wagged enthusiastically in response.</p>
<p>Anne bit her lip, searching for a reason to keep him from saying goodbye. The walk back from the coffee shop had been far too short and she wanted nothing more than to just keep talking to him.</p>
<p>Aramis shifted his weight and scratched sheepishly at the back of his neck.</p>
<p>"I find myself coming up with reasons to delay saying goodbye," he admitted with a crooked smile.</p>
<p>"So I'm not the only one, then," she realized with a chuckle.</p>
<p>Aramis' gaze lit up happily at her response. He drifted a step closer without even seeming to realize it and her heart sped up at the increased proximity.</p>
<p>"Jokes aside, I would very much like to see you again. Perhaps when I'm not covered in sweat, tackling you out of the path of murderous cyclists, and my dog, no matter how much I love her, has stayed at home."</p>
<p>Anne laughed.</p>
<p>"Why, Aramis, are you asking me out on a proper date?"</p>
<p>"I'm attempting to, yes," he answered with a chuckle.</p>
<p>"Well, considering you saved my life today, how can I refuse?"</p>
<p>His gaze sobered a bit and he drifted even closer, his hand resting lightly on her upper arm.</p>
<p>"Of course, you can refuse, Anne," he assured sincerely. "But I do hope that you won't."</p>
<p>Anne felt a lump rise in her throat. No one in her life, not her parents and not Louis, had ever given her a choice in <em>anything</em>. And when she had taken that choice into her own hands, they had shunned her for it. It was a simple thing for Aramis to say, a simple assurance. But it meant more to her than he could possibly realize.</p>
<p>"I would very much like to see you again too," she finally replied, smiling.</p>
<p>Aramis' answering grin was bright and warming.</p>
<p>"Here," she held out a hand, "let me see your phone."</p>
<p>He immediately dug it out of the pocket of his athletic shorts, unlocked the screen and handed it over without protest. She wondered for a moment at the picture in the background, it was three men, Aramis being one of them, crowded together for a selfie. Aramis' expression was completely ridiculous and goofy, as was the darker skinned man on his left. The third man was smiling, but if an eye roll could be indicated by a quirk of the lips, he was accomplishing it.</p>
<p>His brothers, she realized. His chosen family.</p>
<p>"The one of the left, that's Porthos," he informed her suddenly and she realized she'd been holding his phone without doing anything for several moments. "The other is Athos."</p>
<p>"Your brothers?" she asked, though she'd already guessed.</p>
<p>He nodded, something warm and deeply affectionate in his eyes now.</p>
<p>"Well," she started as she began adding herself to his contacts, "I am very grateful for your rescue today." She handed his phone back and crouched to pet Esmé. "And for yours," she added to the dog, who thumped her tail happily against the ground and leaned into Anne's hand.</p>
<p>"I'll call you," Aramis assured, holding out a hand to help her back to her feet. She nodded and stepped back towards the stairs leading into her building.</p>
<p>She still didn't want to say goodbye, so she settled for waving instead. Aramis returned the gesture and then with a gentle touch against Esmé's head, the two of them started back the way they'd come.</p>
<p>Anne forced herself not to watch them until they were out of sight and instead dug her key out of the small pocket in her shorts. She had just closed the door behind her and started up the stairs when her phone rang.</p>
<p>It was an unfamiliar number.</p>
<p>"Hello?" she answered curiously.</p>
<p>"<em>How about tomorrow night?" </em>Aramis' voice greeted her.</p>
<p>Anne couldn't help the wide, ridiculous grin that lit up her face, or the silent celebration she did on the first floor landing. But when she replied, her voice was even.</p>
<p>"Tomorrow night sounds great."</p>
<p>"<em>Can I pick you up at seven?"</em></p>
<p>She nodded, realized he couldn't see her, and forced her voice out.</p>
<p>"Yes! Seven is perfect."</p>
<p>"<em>I'll see you then, Anne."</em></p>
<p>"See you then," she replied.</p>
<p>The line went dead and she immediately jumped up and squealed in excitement. One of the doors near the stairs opened and old Mrs. DuPont glared out at her. Anne immediately stilled, cleared her throat awkwardly and started back up the stairs.</p><hr/>
<p>Aramis pushed open the door to his apartment and let Esmé precede him in. She ran back to the kitchen and he heard Porthos rumble a greeting to her. Aramis closed the door, locked the three deadbolts and then kicked off his shoes, leaving them against the entryway wall.</p>
<p>He headed for the kitchen, raising a hand to catch the water bottle that sailed towards him as he crossed through the doorway.</p>
<p>He lifted the bottle towards Porthos in thankful salute and twisted the cap off.</p>
<p>"You alright?" the other man asked as he shifted to retrieve an omelette out of a pan on the stove.</p>
<p>Aramis took a large drink from the bottle before answering.</p>
<p>"Fine," he assured. "I texted you."</p>
<p>"'Be back later'" Porthos quoted, giving him a dubious look over his shoulder. "I don't know that you could have been any more vague if you tried."</p>
<p>Aramis chuckled.</p>
<p>"I was a bit distracted," he admitted, leaning to scoop food into Esmé's bowl. He ruffled her ears affectionately as she started in on her breakfast and then hopped up to sit on the counter next to the stove, watching Porthos start a second omelette.</p>
<p>His brother's expression was hesitant and when he spoke, his voice was carefully neutral.</p>
<p>"Your note said you left just after two...that was six hours ago, 'Mis."</p>
<p>Aramis winced a little, glancing through the kitchen doorway to the white board on the front door. His message was still there.</p>
<p>
  <em>Went on a run with Esmé - 0220</em>
</p>
<p>When he'd promised to stop disappearing without a word, a few months after the Savoy Operation, Porthos had come home with the white board one day. He'd presented it as a way that Aramis could come and go without feeling as if he had to report in to anyone, but at the same time, they would know where he was. He'd taken to adding the time he left to prevent unnecessary worrying.</p>
<p>That, of course, was counterproductive when knowing how long he'd been gone <em>caused</em> the unnecessary worry.</p>
<p>Aramis sighed and glanced at Porthos' profile. The older man was focused very purposefully on the eggs in the pan. Aramis knew his brother was doing his best not to smother. He knew that it was something Porthos had struggled with since Aramis had woken in the hospital after days of unconsciousness. He knew, that as hard as the whole Savoy mess was for him, it had been hard on his brothers too, Porthos especially.</p>
<p>They'd had to work through more than just Aramis' issues in the weeks and months following that fateful and deadly operation. It had seemed at times that Porthos was afraid if he didn't hold on tightly enough, Aramis would slip away.</p>
<p>"It was a bad night," Aramis admitted quietly, looking away to watch Esmé eat. He felt Porthos eyes on his profile for a moment before his brother focused back on the omelett he was building. "I needed to clear my head."</p>
<p>"For six hours?"</p>
<p>Aramis shrugged a shoulder.</p>
<p>"Well, I wasn't clearing my head the entire time."</p>
<p>Porthos nodded slowly and Aramis could almost physically see him biting back further questions.</p>
<p>"There's a difference between demanding and asking, you know...you can ask, Porthos."</p>
<p>Porthos slide him a sideways look and chuckled.</p>
<p>"Okay then, what were you doing for the rest of that time?"</p>
<p>Aramis grinned.</p>
<p>"Funny you should ask, I was saving a woman's life."</p>
<p>Porthos froze mid omelette fold and looked fully at him.</p>
<p>"Come again?"</p>
<p>Aramis' grin widened.</p>
<p>"Oh you know, just your normal run-of-the-mill homicidal cyclists."</p>
<p>Porthos scowled.</p>
<p>"Those guys are a bloody menace."</p>
<p>Aramis chuckled.</p>
<p>"You're not wrong there, brother."</p>
<p>Porthos lifted the second omelette out of the pan and onto a plate.</p>
<p>"Saved her life, did you?"</p>
<p>"Dramatically and heroically," Aramis affirmed. "Tackled her out of the way just in the nick of time."</p>
<p>Porthos tossed a fork onto one of the plates and handed it to him. His brother's eyebrow arched now, gaze looking over Aramis assessingly.</p>
<p>"Relax. Other than what's certain to be a fairly dramatic bruise on my shoulder, I'm no worse for wear."</p>
<p>Porthos hummed doubtfully and jumped up to sit on the counter on the opposite side of the stove.</p>
<p>"So you've been running around saving damsels all morning?"</p>
<p>"Just the one."</p>
<p>Porthos chewed thoughtfully on a bite of his omelette.</p>
<p>"So was she grateful?" he asked.</p>
<p>"Quite. Not at all like that lady in the park that one time." A shiver glided down Aramis' spine at the memory of the spiteful, rude woman he and Porthos had saved from a mugger only to have her spray them both with pepper spray. "She took me for coffee and then I walked her home."</p>
<p>Porthos was watching him with an intrigued grin now.</p>
<p>"Walked her home, did you?"</p>
<p>Aramis glared over at him.</p>
<p>"You can wipe that grin off your face."</p>
<p>"You liked her," the older man realized.</p>
<p>Aramis was saved from having to craft a response by the locks on the front door disengaging. Instinctively, he tensed, still raw from the nightmare. Porthos' smirk immediately softened to a look of concern.</p>
<p>"'Mis…"</p>
<p>"It's just Athos," Aramis snapped. "I know."</p>
<p>Porthos held up a hand of surrender and went back to his omelette. Aramis sighed.</p>
<p>"Sorry," he offered quietly as Athos came in, closed the door and re-engaged all the locks.</p>
<p>"Since when do I need apologies, brother?" Porthos replied warmly.</p>
<p>A moment later, their third appeared in the kitchen doorway, a cardboard drink carrier in his hand with three cups safely stored inside. He arched an eyebrow as he looked at them.</p>
<p>"What?" they asked together.</p>
<p>"You realize you have a perfectly good table right over there," Athos pointed out, gesturing towards the small circular table on the far side of the kitchen.</p>
<p>Porthos and Aramis shared a look, glanced down at the counter they'd chosen to sit on, and then silently agreed to ignore the comment.</p>
<p>"Want an omelette?" Porthos offered. Athos shook his head negatively in response, setting the coffee on the nearest counter. "'Mis was just telling me how he met a girl this morning."</p>
<p>"Shocking," Athos teased with a smirk, holding out one of the white cups to Aramis.</p>
<p>Aramis rolled his eyes as he accepted it. He knew he tended to get involved with more women than either of his brothers. He'd gone through a fair number of short lived relationships over the years. He had never had a problem <em>meeting</em> women ready to jump into his arms, or his bed for that matter. The problems came when they realized Aramis was shit at letting himself be vulnerable around anyone but his brothers. 'Emotionally unavailable' was the label a few had thrown in his face as they dumped him. Some just truly hadn't worked out and they'd parted amicably. Aramis and long term relationship just didn't seem to fit, not since Isabelle.</p>
<p>"Very funny," he shot back at Athos in good humor. They'd teased him about this before and likely would again.</p>
<p>"I was merely observing the lack of novelty that goes with you meeting women," Athos added, handing another cup to Porthos.</p>
<p>"Yes, <em>thank you</em>." Aramis lifted the middle finger of his left hand in Athos' direction.</p>
<p>"He didn't just meet this one. He saved her life," Porthos added around a large bite of his omelette.</p>
<p>"Did he?" Athos looked intrigued now as he leaned back against the counter nearest the doorway and sipped his own coffee.</p>
<p>"Cyclists," Aramis supplied around a bite of omelette.</p>
<p>Athos nodded knowingly.</p>
<p>"So what then? You walked her home and...? Did she invite you in?" Porthos asked with a waggling eyebrow.</p>
<p>Aramis shook his head as he swallowed the last of his omelette.</p>
<p>"Just gave me her number."</p>
<p>"Are you losing your touch?" Porthos teased.</p>
<p>"I don't think she's that type of girl," Aramis replied, smiling to himself as he thought back over the short time he'd spent with her.</p>
<p>He felt the others looking at him, but kept his focus intently on checking the temperature of his coffee.</p>
<p>"So are you going to call her?" Athos asked eventually.</p>
<p>Aramis pretended not to hear him, and instead took a testing sip from the cup.</p>
<p>"I think he's blushing," Porthos stage whispered.</p>
<p>Aramis rolled his eyes again, not sure he wanted to admit he hadn't been able to get more than half a block away before giving in to the urge to call her. They'd never let him live it down.</p>
<p>"What a moment... you already did!" Porthos exclaimed suddenly.</p>
<p>Startled, Aramis looked up at him. Sometimes he thought perhaps he and Porthos had known each other a bit too long.</p>
<p>"Maybe…" he hedged.</p>
<p>Porthos laughed, but it wasn't mocking, it was just <em>happy</em>.</p>
<p>"You really <em>do</em> like her, don't you?" the older man realized more calmly.</p>
<p>Aramis shifted, sliding off the counter to put his plate in the sink, avoiding both of their gazes.</p>
<p>"How far away did you even get?" Athos asked curiously. There was no mocking in his voice now either.</p>
<p>Aramis cleared his throat, wiped his hands on his pants and turned to face them. They'd get it out of him eventually, better just to face the teasing.</p>
<p>"Half a block."</p>
<p>Both of them stared at him, Athos with a knowing smirk on his lips and Porthos with a wide, goofy grin. Seeing an opportunity for a quick exit, Aramis shifted towards the door.</p>
<p>"I'm going to grab a shower."</p>
<p>"Wait, wait, wait!" Porthos jumped off the counter, waving his fork. "What did she say?"</p>
<p>Aramis paused in the doorway, unable to help his smile as he glanced back at them and rested his coffee on the counter.</p>
<p>"I'm taking her out tomorrow night."</p>
<p>Aramis wasn't sure how two men could look quite so genuinely thrilled about a date that wasn't even theirs. Porthos had been there for the Isabelle fiasco, and they'd both been there for the mess that came from dating Adele. Aramis couldn't honestly remember being this intrigued by a woman since.</p>
<p>"He's blushing again," Athos stated suddenly, a teasing light in his eyes.</p>
<p>Aramis scowled.</p>
<p>"He is! That's adorable!" Porthos added gleefully.</p>
<p>Aramis rolled his eyes, lifted both middle fingers to them this time, snagged his coffee off the counter, and walked away.</p>
<p>"Aramis and Mystery Girl sitting in a tree!" He heard Porthos start to sing. He slammed the door of the bathroom just as Porthos launched into "K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"</p><hr/>
<p>
  <em>There we go! The first installment of this compilation of peeks into my Modern AU - Brothers in Arms. Despite the faults in it, I've always deeply loved the relationship between Anne and Aramis in the original show, so I look forward to bringing a version of it to life here and also to explore it in my show-based stuff. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this! Please forgive any grammatical mistakes! And forgive my use of Google Translate for the Spanish!</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Until next time!</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. It's a Date</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Aramis and Anne have their first date. It goes well for all parties involved.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here's the direct follow up to the first chapter, where Aramis and Anne met. Enjoy some adorable cuteness of these two idiot literally having heart eyes from day damn one. Forgive any errors as this is unbeta'd.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  <em>From a little spark may burst a flame.<br/><strong>Dante Alighieri</strong><br/></em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>"I must say, this was nothing like any first date I've ever been on," Anne commented with a smile as she brought her ice cream cone to her mouth and took a generous lick.</p>
<p>A sound of amusement rose from the man walking next to her and she glanced over in time to see Aramis smirking as if amused by some private joke.</p>
<p>"Yes, well, no one has ever accused me of being 'conventional'," he replied easily. She watched him masterfully swipe his tongue around the outer edge of his cone to prevent any melting ice cream from dripping down. "In fact, I'd wager Porthos would claim the opposite with the fondest exasperation."</p>
<p>"Porthos, he's one of your chosen brothers, right?"</p>
<p>She watched a fond, warm light come to life in his gaze as he smiled.</p>
<p>"Mmmm," he hummed his agreement as he took another swipe at his ice cream with his tongue. "We've known each other more than half my life, he and I," he added after swallowing it down.</p>
<p>"How did you meet?" she wondered lightly, sweeping her gaze across the lake next to them. She didn't want him to feel pressured. While he had asked questions a plenty about her, her family, and her job as a teacher, he had deftly danced around, through and over any real questions about <em>his</em>.</p>
<p>He was quiet for a moment and a glanced showed him watching her contemplatively.</p>
<p>She had an eerie feeling of being weighed and measured and then he smiled at her, a slight, small, warm thing that was as warming as it was reassuring.</p>
<p>"We met in foster care when I was twelve and he was fourteen," he revealed bluntly.</p>
<p>Then he waited, watching her out of the corner of his eye as he seemed to return his attention to his ice cream.</p>
<p>She knew, however inattentive he seemed, he was watching her reaction. It was clear this wasn't information he often shared freely, and how she responded would likely dictate how much he shared with her going forward. She took a moment to absorb the new information, reconciling it with what she already knew about the mother he lost when he was young.</p>
<p>"Was it brotherhood at first sight?" she asked softly, quirking her lips warmly.</p>
<p>Something in his posture eased and he grinned, taking a large bite out of his cone.</p>
<p>"For him it was. I didn't know it at the time, but he adopted me from the moment we met."</p>
<p>"Not so instant for you?" she wondered curiously. To hear him talk of Porthos now, the man meant the world to him – he and Athos both.</p>
<p>He grimaced and finished off his cone with a large bite before replying.</p>
<p>"Not exactly," he admitted, but didn't go on.</p>
<p>Anne didn't want to push further and risk him shutting down, so she let it go. Apparently not willing to risk that she wouldn't, Aramis changed the subject.</p>
<p>"Did you always want to be a teacher?" he asked.</p>
<p>She licked her ice cream thoughtfully as she watched him crumble up his napkin. She arched an eyebrow curiously when he twisted slightly and lobbed the trash over his shoulder towards a bin they'd passed a few steps ago. He barely glanced at where he was throwing, but she turned her head to watch the little ball of sticky napkin land perfectly in the trash bin.</p>
<p>She filed that interesting bit of talent away for later and answered his question instead.</p>
<p>"Not always. For as long as I can remember, my future was always set, and I never thought about what I really wanted — not until the last few years at least."</p>
<p>Curiosity piqued in his gaze.</p>
<p>"What future was that, if I may ask?"</p>
<p>"Politics," she replied, a scowl pulling at her features.</p>
<p>She was pleasantly surprised to see Aramis apparently caught completely off guard by that revelation. In her short experience, the man never seemed surprised by anything.</p>
<p>"Not <em>me</em>, exactly," she went on because now that she was talking the words seemed to come easily. "I was never meant to play any part but the dutiful housewife, a pretty picture to stand silently aside — always a step behind, always seen, but never heard."</p>
<p>Now Aramis was frowning, his brow pulled together thoughtfully.</p>
<p>His posture suddenly straightened, and he stopped walking.</p>
<p>"Anne d'Autriche…your father is <em>Phillip </em>d'Austriche<em>?</em>"</p>
<p>Anne hesitated, wondering at his reaction as she paused a few steps ahead of him and turned back to face him.</p>
<p>"Yes."</p>
<p>"He's heavily involved in trying to control the military," Aramis went on heatedly. "He and that idiot son of Henri Bourbon – <em>Louis</em> – are always giving us hell about…" he trailed off abruptly and blinked, seemingly as caught off guard by what he'd just revealed as she was.</p>
<p>"You're in the military," she realized, somehow completely <em>unsurprised</em>. The way he moved and carried himself spoke to training of some sort.</p>
<p>He blinked at her again and then sighed out a breath.</p>
<p>"Yes," he admitted simply, watching her warily.</p>
<p>She studied him for a moment and then huffed a slight laugh.</p>
<p>"You must <em>hate</em> my father."</p>
<p>Her light response had him smiling in return and some tension fading from his posture.</p>
<p>"You don't share his beliefs then?" he wondered.</p>
<p>"That the military should be turned into what essentially amounts to mercenaries for the most powerful politicians to use as they see fit? No."</p>
<p>He chuckled and fell back into step next to her.</p>
<p>"You're relieved," she noticed with a smile.</p>
<p>"Well, I'm quite enjoying myself and I'd have hated the night to be ruined."</p>
<p>She smiled, cheeks reddening at the confirmation that he was enjoying their date as much as she was.</p>
<p>"So what branch are you?"</p>
<p>If she had guessed, she might have thought perhaps the special forces, given that was the group her father and Louis were the most adamant about controlling to their own ends. So, she only nodded in understanding when he replied.</p>
<p>"Special Forces, a commando unit."</p>
<p>She eyed him curiously, wondering if he would tell her which one.</p>
<p>He gave her a patient smile.</p>
<p>"The Musketeers, that's what we call ourselves anyway. Our CO is a fan of Dumas."</p>
<p>She couldn't help but smile at that.</p>
<p>She remembered when the Musketeers had been born, about five years ago now, back before she had broken away from her parents' plans for her. She'd heard her father cursing the CO of the new unit several times in the months that followed the unit's creation.</p>
<p>"Enough about me," he stated suddenly. "Tell me more about your students."</p>
<p>She didn't point out that these last few minutes had been the first time they really talked about <em>him</em> all night. Instead, she smiled and launched into a story about one of the little boys in her class who had quite the eye for mischief.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Anne watched her apartment building come into view with regret. But it was already late, and she had a volunteer event in the morning with some other teachers. She toyed with her keys as they strolled to a stop at the entrance.</p>
<p>She wanted to invite him up for a coffee or tea or <em>anything</em>. But with the way her heart had been pounding and stomach had been fluttering all evening, she was reasonably sure that inviting him up would test her self-control beyond her limits.</p>
<p>"May I walk you to your door?" he asked politely, gesturing vaguely at the closed apartment building entrance.</p>
<p>A compromise. She could work with that.</p>
<p>"Sure," she agreed with a smile. "Thanks."</p>
<p>He smiled in response and followed her into the building when she pushed the door open. As they moved up the stairs, his eyes darted around to the various shadows and adjoining hallways and she realized that he was truly ensuring she made it safely to her apartment.</p>
<p>It was sweetly endearing in the most perfect, old fashioned way.</p>
<p>And it did absolutely nothing to bolster her self-control.</p>
<p>"This is me," she said at last, pointing with her key at the appropriate door.</p>
<p>His eyes darted down to the lock and she wondered if he was checking for signs of tampering, but before she could dwell on it too long, his gaze was back on hers.</p>
<p>"I had a wonderful time," he told her, voice warm with sincerity.</p>
<p>"So did I," she agreed easily and honestly.</p>
<p>"Taking you to the firing range <em>wasn't</em> a terrible idea, then?" He said it with a shy smirk and dancing humor in his eyes.</p>
<p>"Well, it was definitely a first," she admitted with a grin. But as she thought back over Aramis's chest pressed to her back as he wrapped his arms around her to show her how to properly hold a handgun, she couldn't find any negatives to the outing. She hoped the sudden heat she felt in her cheeks wasn't too obvious in the dim hallway. "But I actually quite enjoyed seeing you in what I now know was your element."</p>
<p>He grinned proudly and she remembered her own feeling of awe as she watched him shoot a smiley face into his target as easily as if he were drawing it on paper.</p>
<p>"Yes well, Porthos told me it was a bad idea, but I was sure it would have its benefits."</p>
<p>She thought of his chest at her back and his arms around her again and couldn't help but emphatically agree with his reasoning. He drifted a half step closer and she hoped he couldn't hear her heart pounding.</p>
<p>"Well, you can tell him, from me, that he was very wrong."</p>
<p>His eyes flashed with amusement and he drifted closer still, but still didn't invade her space.</p>
<p>"Anne," he intoned huskily, "I would very much like to kiss you."</p>
<p>Surely, he could hear her heart positively beating out of her chest. She drew in a half breath, trying to find the words to grant him the permission he was so obviously seeking, but her brain was suddenly misfiring under the intensity of his gaze.</p>
<p>"I would much very to kiss me <em>you –" </em>he mercifully cut off her incoherent rambling by closing the distance between them with one confident step closer.</p>
<p>Anne found her back pressed against her door, a warm calloused hand curved around the back of her neck and another on her hip.</p>
<p>Then his lips pressed gently, but confidently, against hers and she might as well have been standing in the blazing sun for the heat that swept through her. Without her prompting, her own hands curled up around his back, pressing into the hard line of his spine and feeling the coiling of muscle across his ribs and shoulders.</p>
<p>When he pulled back, and they both drew in a shaky breath, it took her a moment to get her eyes to focus properly again.</p>
<p>"If I don't leave now, I will have a very hard time doing so," he admitted softly, still close enough that the words were breathed across her own lips.</p>
<p>"If you don't leave now, I will have a very hard time letting you," she replied in the same tone.</p>
<p>He made a sound then in the back of his throat that suggested her reply had <em>not</em> helped his resolve.</p>
<p>"I'm leaving for the weekend," he told her, seeming to force himself to take a step back through pure will. "We're supposed to be off before dawn."</p>
<p>"I have a volunteer event bright and early," she replied, feeling some semblance of coherency take hold again.</p>
<p>He took another step back and appeared to feel a bit steadier for it.</p>
<p>"For the best then..."</p>
<p>"For the best," she agreed, nodding gravely.</p>
<p>They stared at each other, eyes locked and a steady tension thrumming around them before he seemed to forcefully shake himself, turning a half step towards the stairs. She turned to her door and unlocked it, pushing it inward. She glanced over her shoulder to see him hesitating at the landing, glancing back over his own shoulder at her.</p>
<p>"Or you could come in for a coffee," she suggested suddenly.</p>
<p>"Coffee is good," he agreed before she'd even finished offering.</p>
<p>He strode back towards her with intense purpose and his mouth was on hers before she'd even managed to step back into her apartment. Her eyes slid closed, meeting his intensity with her own and she curled her hands into the edges of his jacket, pulling him over the threshold after her.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Anne poured half the coffee into her travel mug and emptied the rest into her spare. She bit her lip and grinned when an arm slid around her waist and a nose nuzzled at the back of her neck, followed by the scratchy drag of a beard.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry I have to go so early," Aramis whispered against her neck, chasing the words with a gentle kiss to the space under her ear. It took Anne two tries to put the coffee carafe back in its place and she felt Aramis's lips smile against her neck.</p>
<p>She turned in his arms sliding her own up around his neck, marveling at how easy it felt to settle into his embrace, how natural it felt.</p>
<p>"I have to go too," she assured. "It's my job to set up the donation table before the event."</p>
<p>He leaned back a little, studying the bright neon green t-shirt she wore.</p>
<p>"Fun-Run?"</p>
<p>"The school I work out needs to raise money for new computers," she explained.</p>
<p>He nodded, gaze sliding back up to meet hers.</p>
<p>"Invite me to the next one," he suggested. "I have a whole unit of grumpy, but very fit, men who would love to run for a good cause."</p>
<p>She smiled warmly, touched by the offer.</p>
<p>"I will," she promised.</p>
<p>He nodded slightly, but his dark gaze had gone intense, as she'd seen it do last night <em>many times</em>. She was already leaning up to meet him when he moved to press their mouths together. When he pulled away, he only went far enough so he could meet her eyes again.</p>
<p>"I'll call you when I'm back," he promised.</p>
<p>"You'll only be gone the weekend?" she asked, to be sure.</p>
<p>He nodded and drew further back, though he looked reluctant to do so.</p>
<p>"I made you coffee."</p>
<p>She reached back for her spare travel mug and held it out to him. She knew she had slept at least a little last night. When she'd fallen asleep, he'd been sitting up against her headboard, absently gliding his fingers through her hair while he perused one of the books from her shelf. When she'd woken, it was to the sound of him taking a shower. The bed had been cold next to her and she wasn't entire sure he'd slept at all. The slight darkness smudged beneath his eyes, leant credence to her theory.</p>
<p>"Thank you." He smiled warmly, taking a deep drink from it immediately. If he was bothered by how hot it had to be or the lack of cream or sugar, he didn't show it. "Have fun today," he said after swallowing. "I'll call you."</p>
<p>"You better," she teased, brazenly leaning in to kiss him once more. He smiled against her lips and didn't pull away until she did. "Be safe," she whispered, squeezing his fingers as he stepped away.</p>
<p>He winked and backed towards the door, lifting the coffee in a sort of salute.</p>
<p>"Always," he promised.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Aramis opened his apartment door to wolf-whistles. He rolled his eyes, kicking the door closed and turning to engage the locks.</p>
<p>"Same clothes as yesterday," d'Artagnan observed from where he lounged on the couch.</p>
<p>"Unfamiliar coffee mug, but clearly not from a shop," Athos added, eyes sparkling at him from over a steaming mug of his own.</p>
<p>"A cryptic 'don't wait up' text with multiple misspellings last night. Intriguing evidence if you ask me." Porthos leaned against the doorway to the kitchen, chuckling as Esme swept past him to greet Aramis with a wagging tale.</p>
<p>"<em>Some-body got lu-cky,"</em> d'Artagnan teased in a sing-song voice.</p>
<p>Aramis shed his jacket and hung it up and dropped to a knee to greet Esme. He whispered a quiet greeting to her in Spanish and then turned to face his brothers.</p>
<p>"Jealousy suits none of you. Don't we have somewhere to be?"</p>
<p>Porthos held up his hands in surrender.</p>
<p>"We were waiting for <em>you</em>."</p>
<p>"And Treville will be waiting for all of us, so…" Aramis motioned haphazardly around and then strode down the hall to his room, hoping the heat he felt creeping up his neck wasn't easily visible.</p>
<p>He grabbed his duffel from the floor and tossed it onto his bed. It was mostly packed already, but he retrieved a knife from under his pillow and a gun from his nightstand, tossing them in. Then he stripped off his shirt and tossed it to the hamper.</p>
<p>"We're only teasing. You know that, right? We're happy for you, all of us."</p>
<p>Aramis glanced over his bare shoulder at Porthos before looking back into his closet.</p>
<p>"I know."</p>
<p>Porthos moved farther into the room, reaching for Aramis' rifle case in the corner and slinging the trap over his own shoulder — a privilege afforded to very few.</p>
<p>"Did you sleep at all?" he asked with a forced casualness that didn't fool Aramis at all.</p>
<p>He pulled on one of his favorite black Henley's and toed off his boots so he could change out of his jeans and into his black cargos. He busied himself with his belt and kicking away the denim and put off answering until he was tightening the belt over his cargos.</p>
<p>"No," he said simply, dropping to the edge of the bed to pull on his combat boots. He heard Porthos drifting around the room, probably packing anything Aramis had forgotten. He strolled into Aramis's field of vision to pick up the discarded jeans, retrieving Aramis's wallet. He stepped up to him and held it out.</p>
<p>"You going to see her again?" he asked quietly.</p>
<p>Aramis tied his boots and took the wallet with a deep sigh. He finally looked up and met Porthos gaze.</p>
<p>"I hope so."</p>
<p>Porthos nodded, looking pleased but also wary.</p>
<p>"Are you going to tell her?"</p>
<p>Aramis averted his gaze and slid past him to zip up his duffle, scratching Esme's ears where she was laying on the bed next to it.</p>
<p>"'Mis…"</p>
<p>"You think I should tell this woman I've only been out with once that I've got a broken mind and that I'm a mine field of post-traumatic baggage?"</p>
<p>"Hey!" Porthos's voice snapped sharp as a whip, and he rounded the bed, pulling Aramis around to face him. "You are <em>not</em> broken. <em>Nothing</em> about you is broken. But if you're going to continue on with her — and to be clear, I am fully supportive of that — you can't just stay over there and <em>not</em> sleep, especially not before an op."</p>
<p>Aramis refused to meet his gaze for a long moment, breathing slow calming breaths through his nose. Porthos sighed and reached out to grip his shoulder gently. He waited until Aramis looked at him to continue,</p>
<p>"It's not good for you, Aramis. You don't get enough sleep as it is."</p>
<p>"I'm not burdening her with my issues, not this early," Aramis replied firmly. Then he softened. "But I hear you."</p>
<p>Porthos nodded, lightly bracing his hand against Aramis' jaw for a moment before withdrawing.</p>
<p>"Stop worrying," Aramis accused warmly. "It was actually my best night in a long while, and that had nothing to do with sleep." He smirked and Porthos rolled his eyes.</p>
<p>This time the hand on his jaw was to push his face roughly away in teasing disgust.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Anne pushed open her apartment door, already dreaming of a cool, refreshing shower after the 5k she'd just run. Her phone buzzed in the pocket of her leggings and she fished it out, looking down at it as she pushed the door closed and turned to lock it. It was Beth, telling her they'd surpassed their fundraising goal.</p>
<p>She fired off a cheering GIF. Then she turned to face the inside of her apartment and promptly dropped her keys and nearly her phone as well.</p>
<p>"<em>Holy sh</em><em>it!"</em></p>
<p>"Anne! Language, my darling. How uncouth."</p>
<p>Anne stared, wide eyed, at Louis, where he sat on her couch.</p>
<p>"What <em>the hell</em> are you doing here?" she demanded.</p>
<p>"My dear, get a hold of yourself," Louis snapped back, rising from the couch and dusting invisible dirt from his clothes. "You wouldn't return my calls, what else was I to do?"</p>
<p>"Take the hint, maybe?" she suggested icily, leaning down to snatch her keys off the floor. She kicked off her shoes and tossed the keys into the dish on the small entry table. She had a flash of memory from the night before, of dropping the keys towards the bowl and missing completely as Aramis had kissed his way down her jaw. She fought down the blush she could feel rising in her cheeks and turned back to face Louis, crossing her arms over her chest.</p>
<p>"Anne, you've had your adventure - spread your wings or what have you. It's time to come home."</p>
<p>"To you?" she challenged, eyebrow arching. "No thank you."</p>
<p>"We're to be married, Anne."</p>
<p>"Not anymore," she hissed, stomping towards him. "I thought my feelings on that were clear when I gave back the ring."</p>
<p>"As I said, you've had your tantrum and I've been very patient."</p>
<p>The vein on his temple throbbed and she knew she was pushing him, tempting his temper.</p>
<p>"I'm not coming back, Louis," she told him calmly. "I'm happy. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"</p>
<p>Louis stared down his nose at her, blue eyes as cold as they'd ever been.</p>
<p>"This is not the life you're meant for Anne, you will see that in time," he said quietly.</p>
<p>She fought back a shiver, hearing the threat he meant to convey.</p>
<p>"Get out, Louis."</p>
<p>He pushed past her, brushing against her without any sort of care and knocking her a step to the side. She followed him to the door and slammed it after him, throwing the lock and then turning to lean against it. She sank down to the floor, giving in to the trembling of her legs.</p>
<p>"Deep breaths," she coached herself. "He's gone."</p>
<p>She pushed her hands into her hair, feeling the sweat and grime from the day. She sighed, pulling the tie from where it held the messy bun in place and letting her hair fall in chaotic waves around her shoulders.</p>
<p>She jumped when her phone vibrated again in her hand. She looked down at it and something in her chest loosened.</p>
<p>Aramis's name glowed at her from the lock screen.</p>
<p>She found herself smiling as she unlocked the screen to read the message.</p>
<p>'<em>Waiting until I could call seems foolish. How was the event?'</em></p>
<p>'<em>It went wonderfully. We surpassed our goal!'</em> she replied quickly.</p>
<p>'<em>Excellent news. Congratulations, Anne.'</em></p>
<p>She was trying to figure out what she could reply that wouldn't sound like she was desperately counting the minutes until he got back when another message came through.</p>
<p>'<em>Can I cook you dinner next week?'</em></p>
<p>Before she could even begin a reply, another message came through.</p>
<p>'<em>Porthos would insist I'm an awful cook, but he has no taste.'</em></p>
<p>She laughed a little but couldn't reply before he messaged again.</p>
<p>'<em>Full disclosure: I may be an awful cook.'</em></p>
<p>She was smiling as she typed her own reply and didn't stop as she pushed send and climbed up to go shower.</p>
<p>'<em>How about I cook for you instead. I make a mean lasagna.'</em></p>
<p>His reply came as she closed the bathroom door behind her.</p>
<p>'<em>It's a date.'</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>There we are. Anne and Aramis's first date! I hope you enjoyed it! Sound off below to let me know!</p>
<p>Later gaters.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Meet the Family</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Aramis wrestles with the idea of letting Anne further into his life, Porthos offers brotherly advice, and Anne exceeds expectations (and fears).</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well hello again! Only a couple of days later too! I'm very much enjoying writing stages of Aramis and Anne's relationship in this modernAU so, be ready for some more updates over the next several days. I've gotten two more installments almost ready. So yay! I'm writing these fairly chronologically at this point, so we can watch his relationship with Anne evolve, but I'll also be throwing in some MissionFic oneshots between the Aramis/Anne pieces because I like action and whump too. ANYWAY...this jumps forward two months from when we last saw them.</p>
<p>Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  <em>The point of it all is to love friends completely and utterly, at their best and worst, and to love more than just the good things.<br/><strong>Arka Pain</strong></em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>Aramis pressed his back against the crumbling wall, forcing a deep breath in through his nose and out through his mouth. His chest ached, but the sharp pain that had punched into him after taking a bullet to his body armor had started to fade...sort of.</p>
<p>He reached for his radio, pressing the talk button.</p>
<p>"Diablo to all Alpha callsigns — anybody read me?"</p>
<p>The radio squawked angrily with feedback, and he quickly turned the volume down, holding his breath as he heard voices around the corner. He knew his brothers' voices better than his own, so he knew immediately it wasn't them. Given the nature of their current mission, that left only one other option.</p>
<p>Aramis closed his eyes briefly and took another slow breath. Then he wrapped his hand around the hilt of the K-bar sheathed on his chest and pulled it free. He side-stepped until he was within reach of the corner.</p>
<p>When the first man came around it, Aramis slammed the blade hard into the man's unarmored chest. He ripped the knife free and ducked away from the sudden spitting of gunfire cutting into the brick next to him. He ran back down the alley he'd come up only a few minutes ago and cursed as shouts rose behind him. He ducked around another corner as more gunfire sent brick shards flying behind him.</p>
<p>He kept running, ignoring the throbbing pain in his chest, and his increasing shortness of breath.</p>
<p>He rounded another corner into a group of four armed men.</p>
<p>Instinct saved him.</p>
<p>As soon as his brain registered the threat, he went on the offensive. He kicked out at the nearest knee and then sliced his knife across the man's neck as he fell. Aramis spun, slamming his elbow into someone's ear, and then punching out with the same arm, slamming a firm palm into another's sternum. The man fell, coughing out his breath and Aramis kicked out at him, his boot catching the man's chin and putting him out for good. He drove the knife backwards, feeling it sink into the softness of someone's stomach. The body fell away as he yanked the knife back.</p>
<p>Hands grabbed at his shoulders, yanking him sideways and throwing him bodily aside.</p>
<p>Aramis tucked his shoulder, rolling gracefully up to a knee. He brought his arms up in time to block a kick aimed at chest and then pushed up in time to knock away a knife arching towards his head. He threw out a sharp jab, feeling teeth give way and cut into his knuckles. The man dropped, groaning, and cradling his mouth. Aramis stepped into a hard hook that put the man on the ground, unconscious.</p>
<p>Breathing hard, chest and head pounding, Aramis looked around quickly for any more threats. Finding none, he pulled uncomfortably at his body armor, and moved away from the bodies. He slid down another alley, wiping at hot blood dripping down his temple.</p>
<p>He had to find the others. They'd been separated by two full blocks when Aramis went down, knocked clean out of a second story window by a shot to center mass when someone got the drop on him from behind. He'd landed in a dumpster, which mostly broke his fall but between that and the bullet, he lost time. When he woke up, he was still in the dumpster and his brothers were nowhere to be seen.</p>
<p>He paused, bracing his back against another crumbling wall.</p>
<p>"The RV," he whispered to himself. "<em>Think</em>, Aramis. Where's the RV."</p>
<p>They'd go there first and wait for him. If he didn't show up, he knew Porthos would tear the city apart to find him, no matter what danger it put him in. He couldn't let his brother take such a risk. He had to get to him first.</p>
<p>He closed his eyes, trying to picture the map they'd studied on the flight over. After a few moments, he thought he had an idea of where he might be and where he needed to go. He allowed himself one more slow breath, one more moment to compartmentalize the pain his body was trying to get him to acknowledge, and then he was moving again.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Porthos paced at the entry to the clearing where their evac helicopter was waiting.</p>
<p>Athos stood sentry a few feet into the clearing, eyes glued to the path that led to the city.</p>
<p>"He'll come," d'Artagnan said nervously. "Right? He'll find his way."</p>
<p>"Of course he will," Athos agreed immediately. "Aramis has more training than any of us. He can take care of himself."</p>
<p>Porthos didn't say anything, just continued to prowl back and forth. Aramis may have more training than any of them, but he also tended to attract <em>trouble</em> more than any of them.</p>
<p>Several tense minutes passed.</p>
<p>"We shouldn't have left," Porthos snapped suddenly. "We should have tried to find him."</p>
<p>"His radio went out, Porthos. He was on the other side of a kill zone. We could not have gotten to him and you know that. You need to trust his training."</p>
<p>Porthos whirled.</p>
<p>"And what if his radio went out because he got found? What if he's back there somewhere <em>hurt</em> and waiting for us to come for him?"</p>
<p>Athos's jaw clenched, but he didn't reply.</p>
<p>"Two minutes," d'Artagnan reminded quietly. "Then that chopper is leaving with or without us."</p>
<p>"I'm not leaving without Aramis," Porthos snarled.</p>
<p>"We won't," Athos replied calmly.</p>
<p>Porthos stared at the path.</p>
<p>Another minute passed and the helicopter started preparing to take off.</p>
<p>Porthos was watching the path so intently that at the first rustle of a branch, he was already moving. He was halfway across the distance between them by the time Aramis tore into the open. His eyes were hyper focused, and his chest was heaving with too deep, too short breaths. But all Porthos could do was reach for him, wrap a hand in the shoulder strap of his body armor and drag him towards the chopper.</p>
<p>Athos appeared at Aramis's other side, wrapping a hand around his elbow to move him along faster. d'Artagnan was already on the chopper when they got to it, arms ready to pull Aramis up into the open space between the seats. Porthos and Athos threw themselves in after him and Athos shouted at the pilot to go.</p>
<p>Porthos manhandled Aramis into the center of the chopper floor, skimming his hands over his brother's body, looking for injuries. He was bleeding from a cut on his temple and another above his brow. Blotchy bruises were forming on his jaw and cheekbone and there were splatters of blood across every piece of his clothing. Aramis had his eyes clenched closed and was pulling at the neck of his body armor like it was choking him.</p>
<p>Athos shoved a head set into Porthos's hands and then fit another one over Aramis's ears.</p>
<p>"Get his armor off!" Athos ordered over the headset before covering his microphone to shout something at d'Artagnan that Porthos ignored. He reached for the shoulder straps on the armor, pulling at them roughly.</p>
<p>"Easy, brother," Porthos soothed. "I got it. <em>Easy."</em></p>
<p>Porthos finally freed him of the armor, shoving into d'Artagnan's waiting hands. Aramis was pulling at the collar of his sweaty t-shirt now. Athos leaned over him and pulled up the hem of the shirt, nearly to Aramis' chin.</p>
<p>Porthos had to swallow back a wave of nausea. Aramis's chest was a mass of dark blotchy bruising. It started at a single, concentrated point to the right of his sternum and spread out from there.</p>
<p>"He must have taken a round," Athos said into the headset. "Calm him down! I'll find an oxygen tank!"</p>
<p>Porthos reached forward, taking Aramis's face in his hands. He leaned forward until their foreheads were touching.</p>
<p>"I know it hurts, 'Mis, but you've got to breath with me. With me, now. In….out... In…out." He continued the exaggerated pattern until Athos shouldered him out of the way to shove an oxygen mask over Aramis's mouth and nose. Then Porthos leaned in again, pressing his forehead back against his brother's. He wrapped one of Aramis's hands in his own to stop him pulling at his collar, but kept his other hand curled around the back of Aramis's neck.</p>
<p>And they breathed together.</p>
<p>Eventually, a hand wrapped around his wrist. Aramis, he knew, seeking an anchor point.</p>
<p>They stayed like that until the chopper landed back at the military base they were operating out of for this mission. When the engines were quiet and the pilots gone, Porthos opened his eyes and drew back. Aramis was blinking at him with clear, aware eyes, breaths puffing into the oxygen mask. But his hand stayed wrapped tightly around Porthos's wrist.</p>
<p>"Let's get him inside. D'Artagnan, find the base doctor and bring him," Athos instructed quietly.</p>
<p>Their youngest leapt to the ground and took off at a jog. Athos climbed out next and reached up, waiting for Porthos to shift Aramis towards him.</p>
<p>"Ready?" Porthos whispered.</p>
<p>Aramis nodded, stripping off the oxygen and tossing it aside.</p>
<p>"I'm good," he insisted, sliding towards the edge of the chopper under his own power. "Just lost my breath before."</p>
<p>"I'm sure," Athos replied with a quirked brow but stepped back.</p>
<p>Porthos forced himself not to hover as he followed Aramis off the helicopter. With shaky steps, Aramis led the way back to their temporary quarters. Porthos shared an exasperated look with Athos as they followed him.</p>
<p>Once inside, Aramis dropped heavily onto his bunk, bracing his hands on either side of him. Porthos closed the door after following Athos inside and watched as Aramis stared down at his boots, as if contemplating what to do about them.</p>
<p>"Want to tell us what happened?" Athos asked blandly, dropping to a knee in front of Aramis and pulling at the laces of his boots.</p>
<p>Aramis blinked, but seemed to recognize the order for a report, no matter how casually it was given.</p>
<p>So Porthos listened as Aramis clinically recounted getting shot, falling two stories into a dumpster, and then fighting and running his way through the city to get to the rendezvous point.</p>
<p>"I knew I was running out of time, that you couldn't wait much longer. So, I had to push hard once I got out of the city. I started hyperventilating, that's all."</p>
<p>"We'll let the base doctor be the judge," Athos replied, frankly.</p>
<p>Aramis rolled his eyes but didn't argue. Instead, he seemed to notice for the first time that his hands and forearms were covered in dried blood. Porthos watched him stare down at the stained skin and saw the first tremble roll through his hands.</p>
<p>"Why don't you go find food, Athos," Porthos suggested. "I'll get him cleaned up and the doc can check him out."</p>
<p>Athos was watching Aramis's hands as well, but he nodded and stood. The door clicked closed behind him and Porthos hooked a hand under Aramis's elbow.</p>
<p>"Come on, brother," he urged gently.</p>
<p>Aramis let himself be guided to the bathroom. It had two shower stalls with flimsy curtains. Porthos reached into one and flipped the water on. Aramis was pulling at the hem of his shirt, but his face had gone suddenly gray.</p>
<p>"Just let me help you, you stubborn ass," Porthos grumbled. He pulled at the hem of Aramis's t-shirt and helped him peel it off. Porthos couldn't <em>not </em>stare at the bruise on his chest after that. It seemed to have spread even since the helicopter. "Damn, brother," he hissed in sympathy.</p>
<p>Aramis made a sound of agreement and pulled at his belt. A few moments, and a near faceplant into the tile wall later, Aramis was standing safely under the spray. Porthos busied himself gathering the shed clothing and did his best to give Aramis a few minutes of privacy.</p>
<p>A glance a few minutes later showed Aramis scrubbing at his arms with a bar of soap around the edge of the curtain. Porthos hovered near the sinks until Aramis turned the shower off. He saw in the mirror the towel that had been hooked over the curtain bar disappear and a moment later Aramis shoved the curtain aside, towel around his waist.</p>
<p>He moved to stand next to Porthos, staring into the mirror. In the reflection, Porthos watched him trace his fingers across the edge of the massive bruise.</p>
<p>"How am I supposed to hide this from Anne?" he asked softly.</p>
<p>Porthos arched an eyebrow.</p>
<p>"Why would you try to hide it?"</p>
<p>"We've only been dating two months. This is a lot to throw at someone after <em>two months</em>."</p>
<p>Porthos studied Aramis's reflection in the mirror. Aramis was studying the bruise with a furrowed brow. Porthos remembered Adelle, he remembered how she always left Aramis feeling wrong footed, like he was doing something wrong just by being himself. Adelle never handled Aramis taking injuries on ops well and Porthos knew he'd hidden more than a few minor injuries from her over the time they dated just to save himself the lectures.</p>
<p>"How come you haven't brought her to meet us yet?" Porthos asked before he could stop himself. He was suddenly concerned Anne didn't <em>want</em> to meet them. Adelle had never understood how much Porthos and Athos meant to Aramis. She had dismissed their brotherhood as a nothing more than an annoyance. If Anne was doing the same…</p>
<p>Aramis's eyes cut over to him in the mirror, wide and startled.</p>
<p>"What?" he asked, sounding confused.</p>
<p>"It's been two months and she hasn't even been to our apartment. You stay over there a few times a week, but you've never brought her to meet us. Why?"</p>
<p>Aramis looked away from his gaze, working his jaw for a moment before returning his eyes to Porthos's.</p>
<p>"I don't want to ruin it."</p>
<p>Porthos nearly gasped at the hurt that lanced through him. Aramis's eyes widened.</p>
<p>"Not because of <em>you</em>," he added quickly, "because of <em>me</em>."</p>
<p>Porthos softened.</p>
<p>"What?" he asked, baffled — as he always was — by how little Aramis thought of himself.</p>
<p>Aramis looked away, busying himself with his toothbrush.</p>
<p>"She doesn't ask questions right now. She knows I'm in a commando unit and that I think of you as my brothers, but she doesn't — she doesn't know any of the bad things. So, she still looks at me like I'm — she <em>doesn't</em> look at me like I'm —"</p>
<p>"Broken," Porthos finished for him softly.</p>
<p>Aramis's shoulders drooped.</p>
<p>"Yeah."</p>
<p>"You're not broken, Aramis. Nothing about you is broken." He'd said it a thousand times and would say it a thousand more until Aramis believed it. Aramis went on as if he hadn't spoken.</p>
<p>"But if I bring her to the apartment, she'll see all of the locks. She'll see that I lock <em>all</em> of them, even if it's the middle of the day, even if you're there too. She'll ask why we don't sleep there and then I'll have to explain that I never sleep when I stay at her place because I can't sleep without Esmé. I'll have to explain about the knife and the gun and going for a run at two in the morning and —"</p>
<p>"Stop."</p>
<p>Porthos turned, pulling Aramis around to face him. He braced his hands on either side of Aramis' jaw and forced him to meet his gaze.</p>
<p>"<em>Stop,</em>" he pleaded more gently. "You're afraid if she meets us, you'll have to let her see the rest of you too."</p>
<p>He could see the truth of that in Aramis's eyes.</p>
<p>"The me she knows now is terribly charming and irresistible. Why ruin that?"</p>
<p>Porthos ignored the comment and the attempt at bravado.</p>
<p>"But what you're failing to realize, you <em>idiot</em>, is that she could still want to be with you anyway. Why wouldn't she? The whole you is the absolute best person I know."</p>
<p>"You're biased."</p>
<p>"Maybe so, but it doesn't change my point. She deserves to make that choice for herself. And <em>you</em> deserve for her to make it with eyes wide open, so that you don't ever have to doubt."</p>
<p>Aramis was quiet then, eyes holding Porthos' gaze steadily.</p>
<p>"What am I supposed to do?" he said eventually, pulling away from Porthos's hands and turning to face the mirror again, fiddling with his toothbrush again but not actually doing anything with it. "Next time I see her just be out with it all? <em>'Oh, hi Anne, I've been meaning to mention I was nearly murdered in an ambush five years ago where everyone else </em><em><strong>was</strong></em><em> murdered and now I have near crippling PTSD that comes complete with panic attacks, nightmares and irrational paranoia. I can't sleep without my dog and at least two weapons close at hand. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to vibrate out of my skin, so I go on long runs in the park in the middle of the night until I feel like I can breathe again. I live with my best friend, who is also more of a brother than my </em><em><strong>actual</strong></em><em> brother who ran away and left me behind days before I literally watched my mother die. My abandonment issues are second only to my codependence with said best friend/brother. Oh, and by the way, I was shot recently, so my chest is one massive bruise. Not to worry, I was wearing body armor and it's a regular occurrence, so I'm used to it. All good?'</em>"</p>
<p>Porthos sighed, rubbing tiredly at his eyes.</p>
<p>"Maybe give yourself a break, 'Mis, and start small. You don't have to word vomit everything at her the next time you see her, but just stop locking yourself away from her. Let it come out naturally, bit by bit and give her a chance to know you — the <em>real</em> you that isn't always charming and irresistible but is still <em>my</em> favorite person on this whole stupid planet."</p>
<p>Aramis glanced at him then, a small smile pulling at his lips. Then he sighed, abandoning his toothbrush, and facing Porthos of his one free will.</p>
<p>"How do I even do that? And what the hell do I do if she sees something she doesn't like?"</p>
<p>"Well, if she for one second doesn't value you for who you are, then she'll have me to answer to."</p>
<p>He didn't mention Adele, or that not every woman out there was like her. He didn't like the small look Aramis got in his eye when her name came up, as if he were still feeling like a failure even if her standards weren't hanging over him anymore.</p>
<p>"And you start by letting her beyond the curtain. Invite her to the base to meet us when we get back, like all the other girlfriends and boyfriends and husbands and wives. Let her be part of this bit of your life."</p>
<p>Aramis's brow pulled together a bit, but he nodded slowly.</p>
<p>"And don't try to hide this." Porthos pointed at his bruised chest without touching it. "Tell her what happened, edited version if you want to, but tell her, let her see it. Watch how she reacts. Let <em>that</em> guide you going forward…or <em>not</em> going forward."</p>
<p>Because that's what it came to, for Porthos. He didn't want another Adele in Aramis' life. If he thought for a moment that Anne would be like her, Porthos would run her off himself.</p>
<p>"And if it scares her away?" he asked quietly.</p>
<p>"Then she didn't deserve you, brother."</p>
<p>Aramis grimaced at that, but Porthos didn't push. They both looked towards the door when they heard voices in the bunk room.</p>
<p>"Come on, let the doc check you out."</p>
<p>Aramis rolled his eyes but didn't resist Porthos pulling him to the other room.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Aramis leaned against some crates that where strapped down by a cargo net, staring down at his phone. They were wheels up in just a few minutes and he if was going to call Anne, it had to be now. He pressed a hand lightly to his chest, feeling the muscles cramp and twinge under his black t-shirt.</p>
<p>He almost slid the phone into his pocket, but as he looked up, Porthos caught his eye and gave him an encouraging nod. With a sigh, he pulled up her name and tapped it, walking down the ramp to get at least the illusion of privacy.</p>
<p>She picked up on the third ring, sounding out of breath.</p>
<p>"<em>Hey, you!"</em> she greeted brightly.</p>
<p>"Busy?" he asked, maybe hoping for an excuse to back out of what he'd called to say.</p>
<p>"<em>Nah, just got back from a run, so your timing is actually great. What's up? Miss me?"</em></p>
<p>"Very much, in fact," he answered honestly.</p>
<p>"<em>I miss you too</em>," she replied warmly, and he could hear the truth in her voice.</p>
<p>"Not for much longer. We're coming back today."</p>
<p>"<em>Really?!"</em> She was excited, he could hear as much. He found himself imagining her bright smile, the way it lit up her eyes.</p>
<p>"We won't land until late this afternoon, but…" he hesitated and then drew in a breath and forged on, "I wanted to know if you would like to come to base and pick me up? Be there when we land?"</p>
<p>She was quiet for a moment and he had just started to wonder if he'd made a terrible mistake when her voice came across the line, tentative, but hopeful.</p>
<p>"<em>Yeah?"</em></p>
<p>"Yes," he replied firmly. "I want you to be there if — if you want to be."</p>
<p>"<em>Yes! I do. I want to. When? Where?"</em></p>
<p>He spent a few minutes relaying directions to the base, explaining how to get on and who to talk to. He'd have to have her added to a list, Treville would have to escort her from the gate or send someone, but she didn't seem at all annoyed by theses details.</p>
<p>"<em>I'll be there,"</em> she promised, and he could hear the smile in her voice.</p>
<p>"Good," he replied softly. "My brothers, Porthos and the others, they'll be here too if you'd like to meet them."</p>
<p>"<em>I would love that</em>." She sounded like she meant it.</p>
<p>Aramis felt something like hope swell in his chest.</p>
<p>"I'll see you later then."</p>
<p>"<em>I can't wait."</em></p>
<p>He hesitated a moment, brushing a finger across the butterfly bandage above his brow. He knew there where stitches hidden under a small white bandage taped to his hairline near his temple as well. His chest ached with the reminder that while body armor could save your life, it didn't make you invisible.</p>
<p>"I fell I should warn you…"</p>
<p>He heard her draw in a breath across the line, but she didn't speak.</p>
<p>"It's been a tough go of it the last day or so. I'm not — I'm a bit…roughed up."</p>
<p>He winced at his own wording, knowing it conveyed enough to worry without conveying enough to reassure.</p>
<p>"<em>Are you okay?" </em>she asked sharply, alarm ringing in her tone.</p>
<p>"I am. I <em>will be</em>," he amended honestly. "I just didn't want to take you by surprise."</p>
<p>He heard her take a few calming breaths.</p>
<p>"<em>Thank you," </em>she whispered. <em>"For warning me…and for inviting me to be there when you get home. I really can't wait to see you, Aramis."</em></p>
<p>He felt something heavy lift from his chest at the warmth in her voice.</p>
<p>"I can't wait to see you either."</p>
<p>He looked over his shoulder when Porthos shouted at him from the top of the ramp.</p>
<p>"I have to go."</p>
<p>"<em>I'll see you soon," </em>she promised and then hung up before he had to.</p>
<p>He moved back up the ramp, rubbing absently at his chest and staring down at his phone with a vague sense of awe.</p>
<p>"Well?" Porthos prompted, nudging him over to their usual area to relax during travel.</p>
<p>"She's coming. I need to tell Treville. He'll have to get her an escort from the gate."</p>
<p>Porthos grinned.</p>
<p>"I called him while you were talking to her. He'll make sure she's taken care of."</p>
<p>Aramis looked over at him with an arched brow.</p>
<p>"I had a feeling." Porthos shrugged, smiling, and Aramis couldn't seem to stop himself from smiling in return.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Aramis squinted into the late afternoon sun as the ramp lowered, shifting his back on his shoulder, and moving with the others when it was low enough to start down it.</p>
<p>Constance rushed d'Artagnan as soon as his feet hit the tarmac, leaping into his arms with all the enthusiasm and adoration she always had.</p>
<p>Normally, Aramis would have made arrangements with Porthos and Athos for after they got back. They'd either go to their favorite bar, or grab take out and go back to his and Porthos's apartment, or just go straight back and sleep. Athos would often take the couch even when they weren't returning from an op. This time, instead of immediately going towards Porthos's truck, he found himself looking around for Anne. He felt his mouth pull into a smile when he saw her, his feet taking him towards her without thought.</p>
<p>She was leaning back against her small blue sedan, blonde hair rolling down to her shoulders in soft waves. She pushed off when she saw him notice her, moving to meet him.</p>
<p>He should introduce her to the others. He should quiet the worry he saw in her eyes as she noticed the bandages on his head. He should be dignified and chaste and <em>proper</em>.</p>
<p>Instead, when he reached her, he couldn't stop himself from threading a hand into the hair at her nape, wrapping the other around her hip, and leaning in to kiss her. Her hands came up automatically to curve over his shoulder, around his back. Something in him settled in a way he hadn't even known he needed and when he pulled back, he only went far enough to look her in the eye.</p>
<p>"Hi," he whispered across her lips.</p>
<p>She smiled, big and radiant and one hundred percent for <em>him</em>.</p>
<p>"Hi," she said in return.</p>
<p>There was a half cough, half snicker from behind them and Aramis pulled back a bit more.</p>
<p>He cleared his throat and shifted, keeping his hand on her hip, and sliding it around her back to pull her closer to his side as he turned to face his brothers.</p>
<p>"Anne, I would like you to meet two men I consider to be brothers."</p>
<p>"I'm Porthos." The larger man stepped forward immediately, hand outstretched. Anne met his grip immediately, smiling brightly at him. "I'm so happy to finally meet you."</p>
<p>"And I, you," she replied honestly before looking to Athos.</p>
<p>"Athos," he introduced himself, holding out a hand as well.</p>
<p>"I've heard so much about you, I feel like I know you both already," Anne said as she shook Athos's hand as well.</p>
<p>"It's all lies, whatever he's said," Porthos teased with a grin.</p>
<p>Aramis laughed, sliding his hand up Anne's back when she looked at him, her smile so bright he couldn't help but smile in return.</p>
<p>"You must be Anne!" Constance called out as she dragged d'Artagnan behind her towards them. "I'm Constance d'Artagnan. This is my husband, Charles."</p>
<p>"Just call me d'Artagnan, everyone does," he added quickly, smiling warmly.</p>
<p>"He's the annoying little brother of the family," Aramis told her in a staged whisper.</p>
<p>"Hey!"</p>
<p>"Anyway, we were wondering if you all would like to come over for dinner. I've been cooking all day and would hate it to go to waste," Constance announced.</p>
<p>"She says that like d'Artagnan won't happily eat leftovers for days," Porthos muttered as an aside to Aramis, who grinned. He looked down at Anne, still tucked against his side.</p>
<p>"We don't have to," he whispered to her. "I know it's a lot all at once."</p>
<p>"I would <em>love</em> to have dinner with your family," she replied immediately.</p>
<p>Aramis hoped his smile didn't look as relieved as it felt.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Hours later, he followed her into her apartment, quietly closing the door behind them and locking it. He trailed his fingers over the deadbolt briefly, wondering when he would be ready to tell her about how many locks he had to have on his own door. After today, for the first time he thought the day might actually come.</p>
<p>"Thank you."</p>
<p>Aramis turned from the door, carefully easing his jacket off his shoulders, and hanging it on the hook on the wall.</p>
<p>"For what?" he asked curiously.</p>
<p>She smiled, stepping into his arms when he opened them to her.</p>
<p>"For letting me into your world, even just a little, even just for today."</p>
<p>Something in his chest ached and it had nothing to do with the bruising there.</p>
<p>"I want you in my world Anne, I do. It's just…"</p>
<p>She put her fingers against his mouth, silencing him.</p>
<p>"I didn't say that to make you feel guilty." Her keen blue gaze studied him for a moment. "I know there are things you haven't told me."</p>
<p>His heart started pounding and he wondered if she could feel it.</p>
<p>"And that's okay," she assured warmly. "There are things…" She sighed deeply. "There are things I haven't told you either. But I will, one day. All I need to know is that you'll tell me one day too."</p>
<p>"I…"</p>
<p>Something in him froze up, going rigid at the very thought of explaining what happened with the SAVOY operation, about his PTSD because of it, and everything that entailed. Something must have shown on his face, or in his eyes, because instead of getting upset or hurt over his hesitation, Anne's gaze impossibly softened.</p>
<p>"It's okay," she promised. "You don't have to tell me anything right now, either way."</p>
<p>She backed away, hands lacing into his so she could tow him along after her.</p>
<p>Feeling like a coward, he let himself be led and let the conversation drop.</p>
<p>But later, holding her in his arms as she started to drift into a sated sleep, he felt braver.</p>
<p>He had told her about being shot in his body armor, warned her about the bruising and then watched her closely after he'd stripped off his t-shirt. He'd watched her eyes widen, fingers shaking as she hovered them over the nasty bruising spread across his chest. He had waited for her eyes to harden, for her to make a comment about how <em>'this is what happens when you choose a job like this'</em> or <em>'you should think about retiring, being normal'</em> or worse, <em>'I can't do this'</em>.</p>
<p>But neither of those things had happened.</p>
<p>Instead, with tears welling in her eyes, she'd leaned close and pressed her lips gently to his sternum, feather light with her touch even though the worst of the damage was a good two inches to the right of where she made contact.</p>
<p>"<em>My poor Aramis,"</em> she'd whispered against his bruised skin and something in his heart had soared.</p>
<p>He tightened his arm around her back now, looking down at the crown of her head. Her hair was tangled and spread out in disarray over his shoulder. Her cheek was resting high on his chest, above the bruising. Her hand resting against his where it was draped across his abdomen. Her fingers absently traced the jagged tears in the skin across his knuckles.</p>
<p>"I hope," he started, but shook his head and began again. "I <em>want</em> to be able to tell you one day," he confessed softly. She shifted, carefully adjusting her position so she could look up at him without jostling against his chest. He looked down at her, holding her gaze earnestly. "But I can't promise you answers when I don't know if I'll ever get to a place where I can give them."</p>
<p>She blinked patiently at him, no judgment or disappointment in her eyes. Instead, they shone with warmth and understanding.</p>
<p>"It's hard for me to talk about some of it...about most of it," he admitted quietly. Then after a moment of hesitation, added, "It's hard for me to trust people."</p>
<p>She reached up slowly, tracing a careful finger down the bridge of his nose, across his cheekbone, down his bruised jaw, then lifted it back up to ghost a touch over the butterfly bandage above his brow.</p>
<p>"It's okay," she whispered. "I'll earn it."</p>
<p>When he looked back later, Aramis would say that was the moment he fell in love with her.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So freaking soft.</p>
<p>I enjoyed this one. I got to whump my fav, indulge in some bromance AND have Anne and Aramis take a good step. Aramis is gone for this girl at this point, which is fine, because she is clearly gone for him too. Too bad I'm at the helm here, because I like angst (angst with a happy ending that is). So don't get to comfortable my lovelies.</p>
<p>The next installment should be headed your way by Friday!</p>
<p>To any of my fellow Texans that have been snowed in by this freakish winter storm, stay warm!</p>
<p>See ya!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. You Make Loving You Easy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Aramis needs to sleep. Anne needs to know why he can't do it at her place. Big truths are shared.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey, hey, hey! So...I meant to post this ages ago. But then I got a stomach bug. Then I let a reviewer from another site get in my head about something. Then I decided I wasn't gonna let the reviewer get in my head about that thing. Then I ended up rewriting half of this anyway lol. Anyway, here we are.</p>
<p>So, I have this plot line I'm working through in this AU that is centered around Aramis and Anne (obviously) and Louis (dun dun duuuun) and once that gets played out, this collection will become more one-shot oriented and focus more on the bromance between m' boys. So just, like, be aware of that I guess. I know its super Annamis heavy right now (and I know many of you don't mind that at all) but it's all with purpose ;)</p>
<p>Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  <em>You make loving you easy. You make loving you all I wanna do.<br/></em>
  <strong>Zac Brown Band</strong>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>Aramis blinked tiredly as he watched the ramp lower at the back of the plane.</p>
<p>His eyes burned and blurred with exhaustion as he waited. He should have slept on the flight. It was what he usually did after long missions like this. But the adrenaline high hadn't worn off as quickly as it usually did. So, while his brothers had dozed in their hammocks, Aramis had filled six different pages in his sketchbook.</p>
<p>"You comin'?" Porthos nudged him as he passed.</p>
<p>Aramis blinked, realizing the ramp was fully lowered now. He followed Porthos slowly, feeling the ache of too many hours without sleep. He'd been at roost in a sniper position for over thirty-six hours, alone, while his brothers carried out the mission. He was trained for such things, for long stretches without sleep, but while it helped in the moment, exhaustion crept in all the same. The constant need to be hyper vigilante while he watched over the situation was draining and, by all rights, he should have crashed as soon as the plane lifted off.</p>
<p>But as it happened once in a while, he hadn't been able to quiet his mind enough for rest, and he was paying for it now. He'd blown past the 48-hour mark since he last slept hours ago. Still, he felt restless, like he wasn't ready to let go yet. But unlike when his PTSD decided to drive him into days of insomnia, this felt different. This was a deeply rooted yearning, for which he knew the exact solution.</p>
<p>His phone beeped in his hand, drawing his attention. His Uber was here.</p>
<p>"Earth to Aramis?"</p>
<p>He looked up at Porthos who was frowning worriedly.</p>
<p>"What?"</p>
<p>"I asked if you wanted to get food on the way home?"</p>
<p>Aramis shook his head, holding up his phone to show the Uber app.</p>
<p>"I'm going to Anne's."</p>
<p>Porthos's eyebrow arched.</p>
<p>"It's 1 in the morning, 'Mis. You've haven't slept in two days and she's probably asleep herself now anyway."</p>
<p>Aramis shrugged, tightening his hand around the strap of his backpack.</p>
<p>"I want to see her." He <em>needed</em> to see her. He needed to settle the yearning in his heart, however sappy and love-sick it sounded.</p>
<p>Porthos studied him for a moment.</p>
<p>"You good?"</p>
<p>Aramis stared at him, giving him the courtesy of genuinely thinking over his answer.</p>
<p>He was tired, this much was obvious. Beyond that, this mission had called upon him to fire his sniper rifle and take someone's life. Such a thing always weighed on him. Life was too valuable to take it lightly. But it was business as usual, honestly. He felt as okay as he ever did. Something in him was urging him to Anne's side, though, however little sense it made. He should go home to sleep, but six pages worth of sketches told him exactly where he needed to be.</p>
<p>"I'm good," he promised. "I just want to see her."</p>
<p>Porthos sighed.</p>
<p>"Young love," he teased with a grin. "Try to get some rest while you're there, okay?"</p>
<p>"Yes, mother."</p>
<p>"Asshole."</p>
<p>"Love you too." Aramis tossed Porthos a grin as he walked towards his waiting Uber.</p>
<p>"See you in the morning," Porthos called after him.</p>
<p>Aramis turned, walking backwards a few steps to tap two fingers to his brow in a mock salute, before stepping to the Uber and climbing in the back. He gave Anne's address and then looked down at his phone, debating the merits of surprising her versus making sure she was even awake.</p>
<p>In the end he sent her a text.</p>
<p>'<em>At your door in twenty.</em>'</p>
<hr/>
<p>Anne yawned as turned off the television and stretched her back, glancing at her phone. She'd been asleep on the couch, TV droning mindlessly in the background, when a text woke her. Her phone, nestled under her cheek from where she'd shifted in her sleep, had buzzed startlingly against her skin and startled her awake. She couldn't be annoyed, though, when she'd seen the contents of the message.</p>
<p>A sudden knock at her door had her smiling.</p>
<p>"Anne, it's me," a familiar voice rose from beyond the hallway outside.</p>
<p>She rose from the couch and moved quickly to the entry, throwing the lock, and pulling the door open. Her cheeks hurt she was smiling so widely as she took in the man standing on the threshold.</p>
<p>Aramis looked more tired than he had been when he left on a mission with his unit ten days ago, but he was smiling at her, his backpack hanging loosely from one hand. She launched herself towards him, wrapping her arms around his neck and legs around his waist even as he stepped into her apartment. She kissed him deeply and as he carried her further into the room, tossing his bag down and kicking the door closed behind them. She heard him fumble with the deadbolt for a moment before it clicked into place and all his attention shifted to her.</p>
<p>She pulled back, brushing the pad of her thumbs over a dark smudges under his eyes.</p>
<p>"I missed you," he whispered softly, tightening his hold on her, and carrying her towards the bedroom. She didn't get a chance to do more than smile in response before he tipped them both down onto her bed, startling a laugh out her.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Anne blinked blearily, reaching out instinctively for the warmth that had been next to her most nights over the last five months. The bed was still warm, but Aramis wasn't there. More alert now, she opened her eyes fully and saw him sitting on the edge slowly and silently pulling his pants on, clearly trying not to wake her.</p>
<p>"Are you leaving?" she asked in confusion, sitting up to watch his back tense, the white stripes of scar tissue standing out starkly against his dark complexion. She'd never asked where he got them, and he'd never offered to tell her, as he'd never offered the stories behind any of his scars.</p>
<p>He twisted to look at her, exhaustion evident in every part of his face.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry," he whispered, leaning to press a kiss to her forehead. "I was going to leave a note. I need to go home and sleep, but I had to see you first."</p>
<p>She blinked in confusion.</p>
<p>"So, sleep here," she said, presenting the obvious solution.</p>
<p>He stilled for a moment and then continued dressing, pulling on his t-shirt and covering the scars.</p>
<p>"I need to go home," he replied simply.</p>
<p>Anne rubbed at her eyes, wiping away the last vestiges of sleep.</p>
<p>"I don't understand. You've slept here dozens of times."</p>
<p>His lack of reply spoke volumes in the silence.</p>
<p>"Aramis, look at me."</p>
<p>He stilled again after tying off his second boot. After a moment of obvious reluctance, he turned to sit sideways on the bed, one leg pulled up in front of him.</p>
<p>"You've slept here before," she said again.</p>
<p>But now she wasn't so sure. Her mind raced as she thought over the last five months. He'd slept over dozens of times, always coming home with her instead of inviting her back to his apartment. He shared it with Porthos, though, she so had always thought it was about having privacy. But as she thought about it, he was always awake when she fell asleep and always awake when she woke up. She'd never actually <em>seen</em> him sleep.</p>
<p>"Oh my God, you've never <em>slept</em> here, have you?"</p>
<p>"Anne…"</p>
<p>"Is it me? Did I do something?"</p>
<p>"No!" he reached for her, folding her trembling hands into his own. "No," he assured gently. "I just…" he hesitated eyes searching hers for a long, tense moment. She saw something in his eyes she'd never seen before — fear and worse, <em>shame</em>.</p>
<p>"Talk to me," she pleaded softly.</p>
<p>"I…"</p>
<p>She turned her hands in his so that she was cradling his hands instead, then she waited.</p>
<p>"Several years ago," he started, voice soft and eyes focused down on their joined hands, "I was part of an operation that went very badly."</p>
<p>She tightened her hold on his hands, trying to both to comfort him and encourage him to continue.</p>
<p>"I can't…" he cleared his throat. "I don't sleep well. There are dreams…" he trailed off, shaking his head. He pulled his hands from hers to scrub at his face. He still hadn't looked at her when he went on, "Officially, they've diagnosed it to be PTSD." Something in his voice had changed, had lost the warmth she was used to from him. His tone was clinical, detached.</p>
<p>"Aramis," she whispered gently, trying to draw him back, but he didn't seem to hear her.</p>
<p>"Esmé is a service dog," he revealed bluntly. "I haven't been able to sleep, at least not well, without her or Porthos nearby for years."</p>
<p>He was looking down at his hands, as they rested limply in his lap. Anne drew in a slow breath turned away, climbing off the bed to pull on her underwear and a t-shirt Aramis left behind weeks ago that she had been avoiding giving back to him. She rounded the bed and slowly went to her knees on the floor next to where he sat.</p>
<p>"Look at me," she pleaded gently.</p>
<p>It took a moment, but he shifted his gaze to hers, something in his eyes warily guarded in a way he had never been around her.</p>
<p>"You don't ever need to hide yourself from me," she told him softly. "I want to know all of you, Aramis."</p>
<p>She pushed up, kissed him gently, and then stood. She walked to her dresser and pulled out a pair of loose sweatpants. She stepped into them and then slid her feet into a pair of athletic shoes. She pulled a hooded sweatshirt out of her closet, one she'd had since college, and pulled it on.</p>
<p>"What are you doing?"</p>
<p>Anne turned, knotting her hair up at the top of her head. Aramis was watching her with a furrowed brow from where he still sat on the bed.</p>
<p>"I'm taking you home."</p>
<p>She leaned to retrieve his jacket off the floor and tossed it to him. He caught it easily but was shaking his head.</p>
<p>"Anne…"</p>
<p>"You need to sleep." That much was obvious. Her heart hurt to see the exhaustion in his face. "You can't sleep here, and I don't want to sleep without you. So, I'm taking you home, to Esmé and Porthos and we'll sleep there — <em>both </em>of us."</p>
<p>He was staring at her with something wary and confused in his gaze. She wondered what he'd expected, what reaction he'd prepared himself for that he was so caught my surprise now.</p>
<p>She got a small bag from her closet and tossed in a change of clothes. By the time she went to and returned from her bathroom with a few toiletries, Aramis had pulled his jacket on and was hovering near her bedroom door.</p>
<p>"Did you drive your bike here?" she asked, eyebrow arched skeptically, eyes drawn to the darkness under his eyes that told of far too many hours without sleep.</p>
<p>"Uber," he replied with a simple shake of his head.</p>
<p>She nodded, relieved, and grabbed his hand as she passed to pull him after her into the main part of the apartment. He tugged her to a stop by the front door.</p>
<p>"Anne."</p>
<p>She turned back, look up at him expectantly.</p>
<p>He slowly reached to wrap his hand around the nape of her neck, and with the other gently traced the curve of her jaw, finally tipping up her chin with a curved finger. He stared down into her eyes for a moment before pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. He pulled back only far enough that his next words ghosted across her still tingling lips.</p>
<p>"I love you."</p>
<p>It had only been five months, weeks of which he'd been gone with his unit. But as she stared into his eyes, she found her response came easily.</p>
<p>"I love you too."</p>
<hr/>
<p>Porthos snorted awake at the sound of the front door locks clicking. He rolled over in bed, squinting at the time. Just after three. He'd only been asleep a bit over an hour. Rolling out of bed, he stumbled to his bedroom door and pulled it open, blinking into the dark hallway.</p>
<p>He watched Anne kneel to greet an enthusiastic Esmé while Aramis was busy reengaging the locks on the door. As he watched, Aramis turned and Anne rose to meet him, a soft smile on her lips. As Porthos watched, an expression that used to be unfamiliar, but had become more common over the last months, stole across his brother's face. It was something close to peace.</p>
<p>Porthos knew he should duck back into his room and pretend he hadn't seen them. But he'd seen how exhausted Aramis was when they got back in the wee hours of the night. He'd fretted over him deciding to go see Anne instead of just coming home to sleep. Aramis didn't sleep at Anne's, even after five months hadn't been able to bring himself to even try. Porthos had expected him to stumble home in the morning and sleep through the rest of the day.</p>
<p>"All good?" Porthos found himself asking as Aramis lead Anne down the hall towards his room.</p>
<p>Aramis found his gaze in the darkness and nodded.</p>
<p>"All good, brother."</p>
<p>Porthos nodded back and smiled at Anne as she followed Aramis and Esmé into his room. She smiled warmly in return, a fresh understanding in her eyes that he hadn't seen before. Porthos would find out what shifted between them in the morning. For now, it was sufficient to know Aramis was home. When his brother's door closed, he closed his own as well.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Anne watched Aramis sink into his bed with an exhausted sigh. He was stripped down to his boxers now and laid back on his pillows with visible relief. She climbed into the bed next to him, watching as Esmé jumped up as well, circling on Aramis' other side before settling down with her snout resting on his shoulder and her back pressed against his side. The tension seemed to drain out of Aramis at the contact. Still, he held out his free arm to Anne and she willingly went to him, snuggling into his other side and pulling the blankets up over both of them. She watched him absently stroke his fingers through Esmé's fur, seeming to melt further into the mattress with every breath.</p>
<p>She thought he was going to just drift off right there, but then he cleared his throat, the arm around her tightening slightly.</p>
<p>"There's — ah, there's more you should know."</p>
<p>She pressed her body closer to his side, letting him know she was listening.</p>
<p>"If I start to dream, don't — don't try to wake me. Don't even touch me. Just back out of reach and wait it out or for Porthos to come."</p>
<p>She shifted, propping her chin on his chest and blinking at him in confusion. He glanced down at her and swallowed.</p>
<p>"I can be violent when I come out of it. All the training I've had…" he shook his head slightly and let out a trembling breath. "If I hurt you, I would never forgive myself."</p>
<p>She studied him for a moment and then nodded her agreement.</p>
<p>"How will I know if you're dreaming?" she asked quietly.</p>
<p>"You'll know. Porthos says I start to talk, move around, my breathing changes."</p>
<p>She nodded, storing away the information.</p>
<p>"Esmé will know before either of us," he went on softly, glancing down at the companion next to him. "She's able to wake me herself sometimes. She'll get Porthos if she has to, though."</p>
<p>Anne looked at the dog as well, relieved she was there, that she brought him such comfort.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry," Aramis whispered suddenly. "I should have told you what you were getting into months ago."</p>
<p>She pushed up on her elbow, looking down at him.</p>
<p>"It wouldn't have changed anything then and it doesn't change anything now."</p>
<p>He didn't seem to believe her.</p>
<p>"If you wanted to walk away, I would understand."</p>
<p>She gently pressed her fingers to his lips, silencing him.</p>
<p>"I'm not going anywhere."</p>
<p>With that promise, she snuggled back into his side and let out a contented breath, closing her eyes.</p>
<p>"There's one last thing…"</p>
<p>"It won't scare me away either," she replied blandly.</p>
<p>"There's a knife under my pillow and a gun in the nightstand. I can't sleep without either."</p>
<p>It should have frightened her, she supposed. But all she could think about was what could have happened to burn such a deeply rooted trauma response in him. Rather than replying, she turned her face to kiss his chest and then settled again.</p>
<p>"Go to sleep," she whispered.</p>
<p>It took a few minutes, but soon his breathing evened out and then she let herself drift off too.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Anne woke to the smell of coffee. She blinked blearily, taking in the sight of Aramis' bare back before her. He had turned away from her in the night, curling his body around Esmé. But he'd let her nuzzle into his spine and seemed to be sleeping deeply despite the line of contact she had with his back. Slowly, she shifted away, sitting up and yawning. Her phone indicated it was after ten in the morning, but she still felt exhausted. Carefully sliding out of the bed, she pulled her sweatpants back on and snagged Aramis's favorite hoodie from the closet, leaving her own in a pool of fabric on the floor.</p>
<p>She pulled it on, snuggling into its warmth and the familiar smells of Aramis as she padded around the bed. She paused next to it, looking down at Aramis and Esmé. His nose was pressed into the soft fur of her head, one arm curled up under his pillow — perhaps around the knife she now knew was there — and the other wrapped around Esmé's torso, fingers threaded into the fur of her chest. She shifted under Anne's gaze, eyes opening and head shifting to regard her. Anne smiled and Esmé's tongue lolled out briefly before she settled back, eyes drifting closed again.</p>
<p>Silently, Anne slipped out of the room, following her nose to the kitchen.</p>
<p>"Mornin'," Porthos greeted, smiling warmly at her. The big man was wearing a plush purple robe with a unicorn applique on the back. There was a story<em> there</em>, she was sure. "He still asleep?"</p>
<p>She nodded, smiling gratefully when he handed her a steaming mug.</p>
<p>"Fan of unicorns?" she asked, biting her lip to keep from laughing.</p>
<p>Porthos didn't bother restraining his own chuckle.</p>
<p>"Lost a bet years ago, but the damn things is more comfortable than any other I've ever had. So perhaps not a loss after all."</p>
<p>She laughed lightly, stirring cream and sugar into her coffee and then lifting it to blow on the steaming liquid. Porthos focused intensely on stirring cream and sugar into his own coffee for several moments before speaking.</p>
<p>"Aramis…" he started slowly, "often sees in himself weakness where there is none. I, and the others, work extremely hard to ensure that he knows we don't see him as he sees himself."</p>
<p>"PTSD isn't weakness," she replied immediately.</p>
<p>His eyes snapped up to hers, brow drawn together warily. She drew in a breath, knowing full well that if Porthos deemed her a threat to Aramis, in any way, he would force her out the door in a heartbeat.</p>
<p>"He didn't tell me much, only that there was an operation that went terribly wrong years ago. He said he can't sleep without Esmé or you nearby."</p>
<p>Porthos nodded slowly.</p>
<p>"It was night when it happened," he explained carefully. "He was asleep."</p>
<p>Heartbroken understanding settled over her. The need for weapons close at hand made more sense now. She waited to see if Porthos would tell her anything else, but he didn't.</p>
<p>"What made you come here?" he asked instead. "I thought Aramis would just come home this morning and sleep through the day."</p>
<p>"He was <em>so</em> tired," she answered. "He needed to sleep and when he finally told me couldn't do it at my place, I knew we had to go somewhere he <em>could</em>. So, I brought him here, to Esmé and to you."</p>
<p>Porthos gaze warmed so quickly that her breath nearly caught in her chest at the pure affection bleeding from his gaze. Whether it was for her, or Aramis, or something else entirely didn't matter, she felt warmer just for having witnessed it.</p>
<p>"He's been so afraid to tell you," Porthos revealed. "He hates to think himself a burden."</p>
<p>"Loving him could never be a burden," she answered honestly. "It's the easiest thing I've ever done."</p>
<p>Porthos smiled, huffing a little laugh.</p>
<p>"I know what you mean."</p>
<p>"And I do, Porthos." She waited for Porthos to look at her again. "I love him."</p>
<p>Porthos's gaze softened.</p>
<p>"Yeah?"</p>
<p>She nodded, a smile pulling at her lips.</p>
<p>"He's the most important person in the world to me," Porthos told her seriously. It was both a warning and a plea to take care of him.</p>
<p>"I know," she assured gently.</p>
<p>Porthos nodded slightly and then shifted his weight.</p>
<p>"He told you about the dreams?"</p>
<p>She nodded.</p>
<p>"I've been given strict instructions not to wake him. I'm to back out of reach and wait for Esmé to wake him or for you."</p>
<p>"Just come get me," Porthos corrected. "He would say not to bother me unless it got bad, but <em>please</em>, just come get me as soon as it starts."</p>
<p>She swallowed at the rawness of his tone and nodded.</p>
<p>"I promise."</p>
<p>He let out a relieved breath and sipped his coffee.</p>
<p>"There's also a knife under his pillow and a gun in his nightstand, and he knows how to use both."</p>
<p>"He told me."</p>
<p>Porthos nodded again.</p>
<p>"Good." He sipped his coffee again. "Good," he said more softly.</p>
<p>For a few minutes they just sipped coffee together, but then she had to ask.</p>
<p>"Will he ever tell me what happened on that operation?"</p>
<p>Porthos's shoulders dropped a little.</p>
<p>"I don't know," he admitted. "He's only told me once and only because his therapist convinced him he needed to tell <em>someone</em>."</p>
<p>"You weren't there?"</p>
<p>He shook his head, years old regret shining in his eyes.</p>
<p>"It was just before the Musketeers were formed when he was with his old commando unit."</p>
<p>She nodded slowly, thoughtful. Vague memories of her father discussing some failed operation rising in her mind.</p>
<p>"But, Anne, even if he never tells you, it doesn't mean he cares for you any less."</p>
<p>She nodded that she understood, warmed by the assurance. She tapped her fingers against her mug and watched Porthos sip at his. Something in the large man's posture was tense, unsettled. Anne chewed her lip for a moment and then drew in a steady breath, letting it out carefully.</p>
<p>"You can trust me with him, Porthos," she promised softly.</p>
<p>His gaze snapped up to hers, something vulnerable shining brightly back at her. But then his eyes settled, his posture softening. When he nodded his acceptance, Anne could nearly feel the weight of his trust as he accepted her place in the new dynamic.</p>
<p>A thought of Aramis, sleeping peacefully in the other room, brought a smile to her lips as she lifted her coffee.</p>
<p>As far as she was concerned, this was the easiest weight she'd ever carried.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So this was a big step for Aramis, admitting to a bit of his perceived "baggage". Idk when I'll get the next one of these out, but it shouldn't be too long, hopefully. Angst is comin', so buckle up buttercups.</p>
<p>See ya!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>